Bring on the New Baby!

Happy New Year to all you wonderful people!
And drum roll please:
I will be moving to France this month to teach English in a French High School. I will be returning to the land of my heart! I will be living and working at the same high school that I was a French Exchange Student while in high school. I will be about 45 min away from Belgium, Luxembourg, and Germany. Yes, you can come visit me! Yes I want to see you before I leave!

Do I need stuff? Yes I need postcards of American cities, Maps of America, Photos of me with all you wonderful people to show to my students, warm socks, measuring stuff with liters and ounces (remember i'm a vegeterian that is moving to a country known for wonderful meat dishes lol!)

I just want to say to all of you that have been like me, looking for God's will for your career path....it was so hard to feel the calling to become a teacher and not having all the doors open right away...sometimes I wondered if God had forgotten my name! This opportunity fell into my lap and has made me realize that all the other teaching avenues that I attempted to pursue were not really where my heart was...so thank God for closed doors and open doors! I just want to encourage any of you that are still waiting for God to fulfil his promises that his timing is perfect even when we are not and our attitude sucks in the midst of waiting....I love you all and will take a piece of you in my heart as I move across the pond!

I'm Still Here

So today is my first day back to work after a three week break (due to a medical hiatus) all is well, but the world seems a bit strange to me...sitting on my couch for three weeks during my recovery has been a learning experience that I will blog about later...I love ya'll out in the bloggy world, don't stop blogging just cuz people like me are lazy!

Winds of Change

Hello all!
Just thought I'd update...ever felt that you were on the brink of something bigger than you understand? I'm there now...I feel as if I'm on an accelerated path to whatever God has in store for me...along thoes same lines I have a friend Brittany Nye doing a photo journal of my life and the all the drastic changes I've experienced this year...when I get them I'll pass them on to ya'll...wow what a difference a year makes, all I can say is that when God leads you out of the desert it's overwhelming...

I Did it!

Hey people! This weekend I just got finished with my certification class to be a spin instructor. I must say that yes of course I was the only person of color in the class as well the only chucky girl. But ya'll I made ya'll proud cuz most of thoes skinny chika's were dying on the bike during class lol! I was like bring it on baby I'll run over your skinny arse any day of the week! I had a lot of fun and I look forward to the doors that this will open in my life...so now onto my preparation for the Bi-lo Half Marathon in Feb...it will be a birthday present to myself hopefully I have a new birthday body to give myself as well lol! Me and the other rowdy girls (Amber, Mel, and Em) and a few guys too (Andy and Ben Rivers, and my friend Drew) are preparing for it(you can walk it in 4 hours)if you're in drop me a line and I can get you a packet that has prep for a beginner and will have you in shape by the time of the race. Have a good week my fellow peeps!

What A Difference A Year Makes

I am surprised by the drastic changes that God has evoked in my life in just such a short amount of time...It was my prayer that when I realized that Belgium wasn't going to happen in my time frame "God let the amount of change in my life be so drastic that it can only be credited to you"...and kids I'm walking there. But not by my own doing but by the pure grace of God....I was so broken that it took a friggin brick wall to make take stock of what was really going on in my life...Some of the most spiritual people can be so out of balance in one area or another...I just want to live my life in such a way the it brings glory to God...in a nutshell here's where I am now
1.I've lost 30 pounds and counting
2.I did the Peachtree Rd. Race
3.I have paid off several personal loans
4.I have almost paid off one credit card and headed towards paying off the next
5.I've gotten a job where I use my French skills daily
6. I have a job that I enjoy and is well paying
7. I am learning to care for people but not to my detriment
8.I have a authentic faith in God that doesn't revolve around going to him to get info to feed to other people...it's just me learning from my Creator for my betterment alone...
9.I've become a vegeterian to become a better steward of my body
10. I've gotten my minister's license
11. I've become a more loving sister, daughter, and friend...
12. I've gotten over most of my bitterness about working in a Church
13.I'm learning to breathe again...

NEWS FLASH....
I JUST GOT HIRED AT THE YMCA AND WILL BE AN OFFICIAL SPIN INSTRUCTOR TEACHING MY FIRST CLASS ON SEPT. 17TH...PRAY FOR ME AND JOIN ME IF YOU CAN SWING A 5:30AM CLASS ON MONDAYS AND WEDNESDAYS!!!!!

Post # 2

This was written the next day or so after the previous post...Conclude what you will this is my honest pursual of faith and what all that means...

When It All Hits the Fan Part 2

Ok so I concede....I don't always fight with God (with regularity but not daily)....As I watch the madness that has insued in my personal life I realized that my personal choas has been further aggravated by the unrest of the country in the midst of Hurricane Katrina...and when I pull away all the dross I realize that the hurricane has brought me to the realization that I am powerless on every level...the goverment can't protect me.....my education can't protect me....my personal belongings and safety measures can't protect me.....I am just a powerless individual, and for me or any of us to believe that our ultimate protection can come from some tangible source is totally senseless....The type of true protection can only come from our Creator and when I look at that I can become more comfortable with this new role I'm trying to walk in...God will restore all the things that I need for protection...tangible or not.......
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I think that while people are going around and pointing fingers about who was most responsible for the aftermath of the hurricane.....yes the ball was dropped and lives were lost because of it...But I can't help but wonder if we aren't just trying to compensate for the fact that they were left unprotected...and this fact has struck our nation at the core...Who will protect me when I am powerless?

A Look Back a Year Ago....

So with all this talk of Katrinia has taken me back to where I was a year ago about the same time frame...I found these two posts from then and just thought I'd repost them now for reflection sake...

When it all hits the fan....

So I'm trying not to cuss so much these days...it peppers my speach too often I've realized, thus the title....So have you ever had one of thoes weeks when everything that could go wrong does? This has been so this week so much so that all I will say is that I have never prayed so hard and cried so much in my life (and I cry every blue moon)....So here is a rare gruesome view into my deep inner world...I must apologize for the vulgarity that is who I am...sorry to all you holy rollers...

Fawn: What the hell are you trying to do to me? Kill Me? It can't possbily get any worse than this!

<em>God: Will you trust me enought to forgive all the injustices that you have experienced in your life? Some you were a victim to ,others you willingly walked in to....

Fawn: I could just say yes, but it's not that easy, I want to be mad for every time someone has screwed me and my family over....I want to be justified in my wrath......I deserve to be angry and hurt

God: But what purpose would that serve? I have kept you though all these episodes even the ones that I allowed to happen

Fawn: Oh yeah did I add that I'm mad at you too....I though you had plans to prosper me and not to harm me and you've got a pretty funny interpretation of what that means....

God: Do you trust me?
Fawn: Sometimes in varying capacities...it's just so much easier to trust you when I have a back-up plan when I can fix stuff myself if you choose not to do so....

God: Do you trust me?
Fawn: I want to...I guess I just don't want to admit the envitable...you are in control and I am not...that scares the hell out of me...

God: Why? You trust me to breathe life in you every morning, you trust me with matters of your future, why won't you let me have control of your tangible day to day life...
Fawn: because honestly I don't want anyone to have that much control over me...man that's awful to admit....I would rather live my life devoid of trust in anyone rather than be open to the possibility of being hurt deeply even by you....I guess I should say...Lord I trust you, but help my mistrust....

And so this has been a picture of me....So I'll leave you with the scripture verse that captures my stumbling walk of faith:

Come, let us return to the LORD.
He has torn us to pieces
but he will heal us;
He has injured us
but he will bind up our wounds.
Hosea 6:1

My Talents are so Wasted

So this weekend Em came down and brought her fiancee Brandon. This was the first time that I would meet him face to face. We've been chating the whole time they've been dating on the phone. In fact I consider him a friend and not just Em's man. I mean did you think I was not going to put my future brother-in-law through the extreme third degree? lol! It's pretty funny how having a phone friendship and actually seeing a person are so different...I must say that Brandon was funny and laid back and like me a little shy at first. So being the event's planner that I am I packed in a whole lot in one weekend...They got here at midnight which was promptly followed by a greasy meal at Waffle House where Em and I celebrate eight yes count them, eight years of being best friends! When we were at EC we would always eat dinner and then go to the place where we first met, the Hartwell Wally World. Sniff, God bless Wally World ! Lol! So after a greasy dinner/party we had a romp at Walmart and then on to my house. After about a good five hours of sleep (hey I had an agenda) I woke up everyone in the house so we could go to downtown atl and take Brandon to see the Turner Stadium (he's a huge baseball fan) I think he got a little misty eyed when we went into the locker room...that was followed by a great calorie ladden lunch at the infamous Varsity. We then headed back to my house for a nap and then met 25 EC alumni at Stone Mountain for the Laser Show...then after a good seven hours of sleep we went to Church of the Nations (Ian is an incredible worship leader by the way) and then Em and Brandon headed home...
-so in a nutshell we had an awesome time really "breaking in" Brandon to life in GA!
Thanks to all of you that came out to the park we had a blast and I miss all of you terribly...remember to pray for Em and Brandon as they set out on the journey of a lifetime...